by Ariane Cunningham
It is me again. It’s 2:00 a.m., the second day of the New Year. I can’t sleep. What have I done to deserve your grace, your mercy, your kindness? How can I ever thank you for preserving my life, for saving my life, so that I may fulfill the destiny you have planned for my life? The answer is simply this. I have done nothing and can do nothing to earn your grace, your mercy, your forgiveness. What a wonderful gift you give freely to all of your children without hesitation, without thinking “Do you deserve this blessing?” One thing that I can do to honor your love and mercy, as I can never repay you, is to walk in your grace, thank you for your goodness, and pray that my steps continue to be ordered in a way in which you see fit.
Lately, I find myself laughing and smiling more. Not because I have won the lottery, met the man of my dreams, or own an island, but because I have decided to let go and let you give the increase. I have decreased so you can increase in my life. What a joy it is to have peace in knowing that you, God, have my best interests in mind. I may not see the way out, the next opportunity, or the next breakthrough, but I have faith and trust that you see it, you have aligned it according to your will and your timing, not mine. What a peace it is to surrender to God and say, “Not my will, but your will be done in my life,” in your perfect timing that isn’t my own. Knowing that you are able and willing to supply all of my needs according to your riches and glory.
I find I am at my worst when I am trying to force a situation that isn’t right for me, or control something or someone that may not be best for me. I become angry, frustrated and unhappy. Why? Because, in those moments, I am not trusting you. In those moments, I forget about my faith and put “me” before you.
What peace I have in my heart in the blessed assurance that you have everything under control. You want the best for me, you want to bless me, and you gave your only son so that we may all have life, and have it more abundantly. As I grow older, the peace and maturity of trusting you grows stronger within my spirit. Perhaps in my younger years I was literally Living on a Prayer, as Bon Jovi sings. When I allow your peace to manifest in my spirit, I have new ideas, new reasons to smile, new reasons to laugh, and new reasons to hope. You subtly tell me in a quiet voice “It will be OK. You are loved. You are not alone,” as you are doing right now at 2:00 a.m. this morning. Thank you, God, for this blessed assurance. There is no one like you, and I will continue to strive to keep you first in my life.
Thank you for a New Year, a new day of your grace, a new day for a new beginning.
With Love, Adoration, and Gratitude,
Your Child, Ariane