Love and War

heart shaped pink and purple flower garden
Photo by shahbaz Akram on

by Clinton Harris

A common cliché comes to mind… All is fair in love and war! It is true. I sometimes find myself wondering if I am a casualty, prisoner of war, prisoner of love, missing in action, commander, general, petty officer, private, or even retired. I don’t know these days.

We are all trying to get to the point in which we want to live our lives and enjoy it with someone in which we can not function without. We yearn for that man/woman in which we love to lay with at all times of the day and night. We wish to day and night dream about that individual that amazes us and yes, causes us to do some crazy and unimaginable things. People desire to share their past, present, and future world with that someone who will take the chance and opportunity to understand them and love them under no particular rules and circumstances.

Since ancient volumes of fairy love tales have been written…the desire, want, and need for love has not changed. Then, when an unknown time in your life appears, and you have gone through the battles, skirmishes, wars, conflicts, spats, affairs, dilemmas, and have either become a winner, a loser, or a no contest result, you want to retire and be in love. I find myself in the position of a 5-star general about to apply for disability…sometimes the heart and mind can’t take anymore.

I am sure I am not the only one who has made a battle plan, only to change it when the person you are fighting for has decided that your territory is not the place to explore and lay claim. I am sure that others, not only myself have exhausted all resources and have pulled out all of the creative tactics to garner the white flag of others in our conquest of the “land of emotions, desire, and the heart”.
How many have decided to lay down grenades and bombs of possible mistrust and disrespect to gain a response that will guide us in the direction we should go? Recall the times in which you have had long conversations with your allies to develop a new plan of action or strategy, only to be blindsided by an attack that left you wounded and questioning rather or not you should go on. I know I have been in situations in which the cost was too high and the reward was too low and I decided to pack up the camp and retreat, never to engage in a war with that person ever again.
There are many different outcomes and several ways and means to get to a desired and sometimes undesired result, the only thing I can say is …Keep Fighting! You have to believe in the future! The battleground can get cold, lonely, and treacherous. There might be an “unfriendly” littered along the path to the person you desire, but you have to keep fighting. If you have no one to fight for or to fight with, keep fighting anyway. There is always pain within your passion, and the desire to fulfill that passion is what blocks out the pain.
I know that things are changing as far as love is concerned in my own fight. If I can offer some advice, I would say to do the following:
1. Pick your battles wisely! – Some people are not worth the resources, time, and energy to fight for.
2. Never lose sight of your goal and who you are! – Never change the fiber of your being, your integrity, or your values to gain an advantage. In the end, you have only hurt yourself.
3. Stand up for what is right! -Just because someone may look good, it may not be good for you. Eliminate the wrong ones before your love camp is compromised.
4. Too much gathering of intelligence from outside sources can cause unwarranted controversy. -Your allies are YOUR allies and are not going to fight all of your battles or always have the correct information. If it is “TOP SECRET” then it is for a reason. Sometimes you may need to label your own files.
5. Everything and everyone is not for everybody! – Create your own tactics and strategy for your own battles. What may work for one person may not work for you.
6. It is okay to retreat and lose. -There is nothing wrong with attending to your wounds and realizing that some battles are not meant for you to win. You are too tired and spent to continue waging a war you know you won’t win. Remember during those times that sometimes you have won…even when it appears you have lost! I have not yet fully retired, and I do enjoy the opportunity of new conquests and lands to explore. I am just doing it in a more intelligent way.
I know that one day in the future I shall have a great ceremony in which I am dressed to the nines with all of my allies around me watching the conquest end, my surrender, and the young lady to whom I have rendered my white flag to will retire this 5- star general as her “prisoner of love”. She will not only be my “medal”, but my “lady of honor”!
About the Author

Clinton Harris is an educator, a mentor, a studied chemist, an active member of the Washington, D.C. area community, and has most recently completed his dissertation to obtain his PHd.

In spite of all of Clint’s many accomplishments, I am most proud to call Clint my mentor, my encourager, my reason to laugh when I want to cry, my voice of reason when needed, and, most importantly, my friend.

I welcome and encourage your comments and thoughts. Thank you.